Luck Be a Lady

December 21, 2010 at 12:05 am 2 comments

Unfortunately, I’m being a crappy person and avoiding all responsibilities right now.  Meaning I should have unpacked from Official Cookie Weekend 2010 and started cake balls for charity but I’m so SICK of cake balls.
Instead I’m going to write down a list that we went over this weekend at my mum’s.  Now, if we’re being honest (which we are) no one really measures up to the list so just consider going halvsies.

So, withour further ado.  Here’s Amanda’s list of what makes a lady:

1.) As previously mentioned, a lady never farts.  Ladies toot.  Unless it’s for vengeance, there’s nothing ladylike about vengeance and therefore you can vengefully fart and still be a lady.

2.) Ladies have at least 4 accents perfected.  Come on. Commit to being a lady and practice here.

3.) Ladies are bad at doing dishes.  So bad in fact that people recommend they never do them. Ever.

4.) A lady always tells.  A lady will take all jokes one step too far and guess what.  It’s NBD. Why? Because she’s a lady, that’s why.

5.) Ladies can have tattoos.  As many as I have or plan on having.

6.) A real lady watches extremely dorky TV shows and quotes completely obscure parts of them at random points with people who do not understand.  She then may or may not choose to laugh at how silly they are for not getting it. (Case in point: “I see it.”)

7.) A lady can draw anthopomorphic food with clever sayings. Done.

8.) Ladies are good at buying gifts for people because they only buy gifts for people who like what they would buy themselves. Wait, what?

9.) Ladies love hot dogs.

10.) A lady is like a vase with titties….wait no. That’s something else entirely.

I’m exhausted after all that listing.  Man. It’s a good thing I’m such a lady.  I can school you suckers for days on this.  I’ve used that word too much now.  That word being “lady”. Goddammit.

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Entry filed under: Day to Day. Tags: , .

The Long Drive Home Happy Christmas

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jessica  |  December 21, 2010 at 12:27 am

    sooo basically to be a lady we have to be exactly like you? haha

    Reply
    • 2. cupcakerator  |  December 21, 2010 at 1:03 am

      Well, yeah. I’m the ideal lady.

      Reply

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